i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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