I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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