therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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