Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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