For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
