GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
