There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize