Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
