I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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