just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
