I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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