Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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