2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
