WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
