Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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