Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
