This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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