Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
