i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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