that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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