Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Alive.
So much puke
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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