I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize