i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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