Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This house was built for laser tag.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
