Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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