Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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