Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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