hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
