Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
