Cold hands, warm shart.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
