The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
