Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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