i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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