so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Boobs speak an international language.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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