Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
