You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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