Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
