Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
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Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not