I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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