I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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