I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize