I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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