ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You dont lie about slip and slides
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
