My friends, they love my intelligence
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
