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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

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• (707): View more from California

  admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...

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• (585): View more from New York

  When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.

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• (518): View more from New York

  If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.

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• (951): View more from California

  Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying

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