why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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