no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted