Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
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