I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
