That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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