Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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