It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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