the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
