if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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