you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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