Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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