my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
