the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
