I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
