happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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