that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
