You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Come on in and take your pants off
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