Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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