Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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