We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
birth control should be required to get into college
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
