I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
