Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
