We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize