thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
