So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
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When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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