using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
