They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
