When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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