Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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