i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My vagina is officially offended.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
