There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So. Much. Porn.
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