It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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